I have a couple very distinct memories that come to mind when I recall my first year serving in my church's choir. Memories of very kind and very nice people giving me compliments about my appearance or my outfit and I would give them at least 3 reasons why I didn't deserve it. ("This is just something that was in my closet that I didn't have to iron. "This dress is old." "My hair isn't doing what I want it to at all.") Then one day it dawned on me. The people giving me these kind words of affirmation wouldn't go out of their way to lie to me and they don't owe me anything. So why am I wasting all this energy telling them that they're wrong, and, instead, just say thank you and take the gift?
In the first year of my marriage, when my husband would say something really sweet to me or want to be affectionate towards me, my first reaction would be to deflect the comment or to push him away. ("He must want something; that's the only reason he'd be doing all this.") Then one day it dawned on me. Before he and I got together, I prayed that God would bring me an awesome man who would be affectionate and complimentary and make me feel special. Why can't I just be grateful and take the gift?
Why do some of us find it difficult to just accept a really good gift, whether it's the blessing of a wonderful partner or friend, a kind word, or help at a difficult time? I can't answer for you, but for me, it had to do with what I thought about myself. When I joined my church's choir, my opinion of myself wasn't very high, so when I received those compliments, I couldn't believe people were saying such nice things because I didn't believe those things about myself. It was only after I started to just say thank you that I was on the road to changing what I believed and felt about myself. When my husband would say or do something really wonderful, deep down I felt undeserving and felt as if I couldn't do enough to prove that I was. As the months have gone by and we approach our 2nd anniversary, I've come to realize that I didn't need to validate his choice in marrying me. It was his decision to ask me to be his wife. He chose me and he continues to choose me each day.
Sometime I have similar feelings when God gives me a really great opportunity or blessing. ("This is too much." "I don't deserve this." " I guess something bad is going to happen soon because things are too good.") Sometimes it hard for me to just say thank you and accept the gift. I'm so glad that God doesn't bless us based on our performance, our character, or our good deeds because we'd never measure up. We should all strive to be good citizens in our world and be kind to each other but even on our best days, we aren't good enough. But God loves us and that's why He gives us good gifts; because He just wants to and He really likes to. All He asks is that we are grateful. We don't have to prove anything or try to earn anything. All we need to do is just say thank you and accept the gift.
Sunday, April 19, 2015
Sunday, April 12, 2015
Wocka 3
As 2015 arrived this January, a new student arrived in my kindergarten classroom. This poor kid had a reputation before he ever got in the building. His report card told of poor attendance and even worse behavior and his previous principal called mine to warn of his arrival. I was determined to give the poor guy a fair shot and things were ok at the start. He had manners, he was intelligent, and he seemed to know the basics of being a student. Unfortunately, that honeymoon stage came to an end and he has now taken on the persona of Wocka, a name I've affectionately given my behaviorally challenged students based on the story of the first "Wocka" ; I'll have to tell that one another time. It started with trouble following directions and being combative with his specials teachers, but soon it turned into frustration in the classroom when we wasn't called on and anger when the classwork became a little challenging. Yelling, kicking, ripping papers, throwing school supplies....Wocka 3.
After the initial shock of "is this really happening in my classroom", it dawned on me that, at times, my behavior isn't so different than Wocka's. I don't like to be told what to do and I get an attitude sometimes when I'm made to do something that I don't want to do. I get frustrated when a task is challenging. I've wanted to and have thrown things in anger when I don't feel considered, important, or appreciated.
As adults, many of us HAVE been through enough hard life stuff that it makes some of our behavior choices seem excusable. But is it really acceptable? Is the choice of words we use when we're upset acceptable? Are our actions when we're upset acceptable?
Children are given the tools to handle their feelings and control their frustrations. We, adults, provide the consistency and structure they need to help promote better behaviors and choices. But as adults, no one is making us set boundaries or make better behavioral choices. If we are self aware enough to know that our relationships are being affected by how we choose to relate within them, it is our own responsibility to decide to do things differently. We can read books or go to counseling. We have options. But it's up to us to do the work.
My faith and belief in God has been my greatest source in navigating through all of issues I've faced in my life and has been particularly instrumental in my current Wocka episode. Here are a few verses that have encouraged me:
Encouragement Link 1 Encouragement Link 2 Encouragement Link 3
Lastly, here are a couple verses to encourage each of us as we change the "Wocka" in ourselves:
Change verse 1 Change verse 2
May you and I be brave enough to look at our behaviors and our choices this week and consider if there is something we should change.
Thanks for reading.
After the initial shock of "is this really happening in my classroom", it dawned on me that, at times, my behavior isn't so different than Wocka's. I don't like to be told what to do and I get an attitude sometimes when I'm made to do something that I don't want to do. I get frustrated when a task is challenging. I've wanted to and have thrown things in anger when I don't feel considered, important, or appreciated.
We don't see many students that behave the way Wocka does because, thankfully, there aren't that many 5 and 6 year-olds who have been through enough hard life stuff to manifest behavior so extreme. But unfortunately, every now and again, we, teachers come across a few that have and it's unsettling and difficult to handle, especially with a room full of 23 or so other students that need you too.
As adults, many of us HAVE been through enough hard life stuff that it makes some of our behavior choices seem excusable. But is it really acceptable? Is the choice of words we use when we're upset acceptable? Are our actions when we're upset acceptable?
Children are given the tools to handle their feelings and control their frustrations. We, adults, provide the consistency and structure they need to help promote better behaviors and choices. But as adults, no one is making us set boundaries or make better behavioral choices. If we are self aware enough to know that our relationships are being affected by how we choose to relate within them, it is our own responsibility to decide to do things differently. We can read books or go to counseling. We have options. But it's up to us to do the work.
My faith and belief in God has been my greatest source in navigating through all of issues I've faced in my life and has been particularly instrumental in my current Wocka episode. Here are a few verses that have encouraged me:
Encouragement Link 1 Encouragement Link 2 Encouragement Link 3
Lastly, here are a couple verses to encourage each of us as we change the "Wocka" in ourselves:
Change verse 1 Change verse 2
May you and I be brave enough to look at our behaviors and our choices this week and consider if there is something we should change.
Thanks for reading.
Friday, April 10, 2015
28th grade
One year of kindergarten, 12 years of grade school, 4 years of college and, no, my educational experience hasn't finished yet. There are academic components such as earning my master degree and on going professional development courses to keep my teaching certification. But there are life components that have taught me the biggest lessons. Life components such as building and maintaining friendships, falling in love and getting married, dealing with family ups and downs, growing in my faith and relationship with God and navigating through each day of teaching kindergarten for the last 11 years. This is how I find myself presently in 28th grade (13 years of school, 4 years of college, 11 years of teaching, masters, and PD courses). So many important things I've learned and have learned; sometimes too many lessons at one time. Some lesson are just too good to keep to myself so if you're willing to read, I'm willing to share.
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